I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize