i would punch a child for taco bell
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
