youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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