Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
