You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize