I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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