Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
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I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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