glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
