I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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