oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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