dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Randomize
