I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
