So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
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By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
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the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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