i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
