My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
