Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
