I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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