Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize