so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
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He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
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I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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