She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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