sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
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I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
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How does it feel to date your dad?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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