well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
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