But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
