that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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