I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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