I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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