I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
