Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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