every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
