allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
