He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
