well I can't set my house on fire every night
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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