bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
My vagina is officially offended.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
