It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
