everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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