Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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