You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
