My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
