Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
