No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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