Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
