We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
