it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I touched a dick in church today
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
