I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
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I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
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Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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