Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
