my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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