I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
