Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
