I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??