Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?