Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
