if you like me you must not know who I am
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
