He is such a slut. More and more my type.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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