beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
