I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
