I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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