Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
