I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
