is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
