hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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