I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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