Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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