You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
we're making bets on your personal life
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
